The Three Wise Guys (Tales from the Back Pew)

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English Only. Church Summer Cramp Mike Thaler. Add to Cart Add to Cart. Add to Wishlist Add to Wishlist. View More. Church Harvest Mess-tival Mike Thaler. The ghost ship vanishes without harming anyone but makes for a great story. It does, however, have a weird connection to the trials of childhood stardom. How is that? Well, the horror relies heavily on the neglect of a kid.

When they do finally come to her rescue, whatever was tormenting her seems to have left. Perhaps Ellen just needed a little parental attention. Remind anyone of being raised by Baby Boomers? And if you have your phone on anything other than silent, you get what you deserve, which is probably a lot of ring-related anxiety and maybe death.

Regardless, the man upstairs ends up being apprehended by the cops before he can do anything more than creepily smile at the babysitter and her temporary brood, making this more of a shake than a scare. Seriously, these books take some sick pleasure involving animals in their devilish ways. Does he take it lying down or does he buck? Oh, he most certainly bucks, exacting his revenge by placing the cursed saddle on its rightful owner and seeing how she likes being rode hard before the discard. Seriously though, I would love for you to carry my groceries.

Or is it?


Why is this scarier than some of the other stories? Because it reinforces the notion that helping others only gets you grief, which is a dark and dangerous thought. A woman of little means is invited to a dance but has nothing to wear. Her thrifty mother suggests she rent an outfit, so off to the pawnshop she goes.

She has a wonderful time dancing the night away until she feels dizzy and decides to leave early. Once home, she goes to bed. The next morning, her mother finds her dead. The enjoyment of this story comes from its insanely specific explanation for her death. An autopsy indicates the woman was poisoned by embalming fluid. Word to the wise, wash your second-hand items before wearing them. After traveling to the church, she stops to rest awhile. To keep the two apart, the farmer sends his daughter across the country to live with an uncle.

The farmhand dies of a broken heart, which the father keeps from his daughter. When they return to the farm, the horse and farmhand vanish, leaving the father unable to keep his dark secret. They manage to accomplish this, only to discover their beloved pet is actually a rabies-infected rat. After being murdered by her lover for her money, a woman haunts the last place she was alive. A well-meaning preacher catches wind that this haunt is happening and sets out to remedy it. Luckily for him, this spook is more than a game.

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She requests the preacher dig up her hidden bones so she can rest properly before instructing him to take her ring-clad pinky finger to the church to place in the collection plate. The following Sunday, when the murderous dudebro gets passed the collection plate, the finger sticks to him. What sweet justice this is. There are only so many ways to describe decomposition to children.

The idea that we women can no longer safely assume the body of a cat to steal meat in ? You hate to see it. There is never room for one more. Here, a woman accidentally runs over a cat, which she then places in a shopping bag so she can bury it when she returns home.

How devious. Tom Connors is headed to a dance, a popular pastime in the Scary Stories universe, when he happens upon a woman in the woods. The two had danced together many times before, but Tom never thought to reach out to her, essentially ghosting her. Tom wanted to scream, but the terror, or perhaps the guilt, silenced him. Let that be a lesson.

This reveals the scariest part: Your own pending doom. The scariest part? The Wendigo is real. This iconic entry acts as more of a how-to than a ghost story, providing you with everything you need to know to summon a ghost in your mirror and a little history behind the legend. Growing up, I figured locking myself in the bathroom, turning the lights off, and saying Bloody Mary three times was enough.

All 82 ‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’, Ranked

I never saw a ghost. Turns out, I was doing the last part all wrong. The book suggests you say the name anywhere from 47 to times. Two kids hit the road, then park to get frisky without their parentals interrupting. While getting down to business, a news report interrupts the music playing on the stereo. It seems a prisoner with a hook for a hand has escaped from a nearby prison and is armed and dangerous. The couple argues about whether they should pack up and leave.

Before he finally agrees, she believes she hears something, but her boyfriend is still mad about not getting laid so he ignores her and drives her home.

Once there, he manages to squelch his toxic masculinity long enough to walk her to her door, but when she invites him in for cocoa, he goes right back to being an asshole and declines. When he returns to his door, he sees a hook attached to the door handle.

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  • An oldie but goodie. An aggressive truck driver tails the protagonist while flashing his brights. Given the size disparity between a car and an wheeler, what seems to be a glaring case of road rage is scary enough. The truck driver had actually been trying to warn the driver that a stowaway was in the back seat waiting to strike. Each time the villain rose with knife in hand to stab the driver, the truck driver flashed his lights to scare the villain back into the shadows.

    Chilling stuff. So what ghastly thing are we dealing with here? The plague in Paris, baby. She is given the runaround almost everywhere she goes, which initially seems like it might be related to a language barrier until she arrives back to the hotel and is unable to locate her room or her mother. Not much is scarier than a large-scale government conspiracy against you and your own. After a hazing so horrendous, the fraternity in question is disbanded by its college and the members are suspended for one year.

    This is the punishment for indirectly losing read: murdering two of its pledges. So spectacular, patients start plotting to kill one another so they can get their turn in the bed. His plan works and he delights in his pending future, which he assumes will be full of all the things previous patients had described seeing out the window. Talk about a postcapitalist nightmare.

    A boy heads into the small-town square near the farm he works at and is beckoned by death. Thinking he can escape his fate, he begs his grandfather to let him drive to the city. The grandfather allows it and, in a show of strength, goes back into town to confront death. Enter butcher Samuel Blunt not to be confused with Sam Franklin, famous for bringing Alice the meat , who becomes irritated with his wife and kills her.

    He, of course, disposes of the body by making sausage and tells anyone who asked that she moved away.

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    Samuel sounds like a real jerk, so of course the townspeople buy it. But a strange thing happens. Blunt finessed his sausage recipe, and it became a huge hit. Greed took over, and he began killing anyone he could to feed his newfound fame. Then one day a boy managed to escape and Blunt went after him into the town, where everyone saw him.

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